My approach starts with a single question: why?
Not "what" to stop doing - but "why" you do it. When you understand that, everything else changes.
Most therapeutic approaches spend a lot of time on the what - what behaviors to stop, what thoughts to replace, what tools to add to your toolkit. And tools are great. Sometimes you really do just need to get through the day.
But understanding why you do what you do is where real change lives. The patterns that felt like personal failures start to make sense. The anxiety that seemed random has a message. The way you shut down in conflict is not a character flaw - it is a learned strategy that once kept you safe.
One Size Does Not Fit All. Neither Does Therapy.
Most approaches to therapy hand you a toolkit and hope something sticks. My approach starts a level deeper. Instead of teaching you how to cope with anxiety, I help you understand what your anxiety is trying to tell you - because when you know what you actually need, you can meet that need in a way that works for you, specifically.
That is the difference between managing your life and actually understanding it.
The Foundation: Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
At the heart of my work is the belief that every feeling is connected to a need. When a need is met, we feel good. When a need goes unmet, we feel what we usually call a negative emotion. Anxiety, frustration, sadness - these are not the problem. They are signals.
For example: if you feel anxious, you might be missing a need for safety, clarity, or creativity. Knowing which one changes the solution entirely. If you need creativity but you are being told to go for a walk and journal, you are still not getting what you actually need.
That is the kind of specific, tailored insight we work toward together.
An Eclectic Approach Tailored to You
I layer this NVC foundation with:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - We look at the thoughts that run in the background and figure out which ones are helping you and which ones are lying to you.
- Family Systems Therapy - We look at how your family history shows up in your present relationships - not to blame anyone, but to understand the patterns.
- Mindfulness - We practice noticing what is happening inside you without immediately reacting to it.
Not everyone needs the same approach, and not every tool works for every person. I meet you where you are and adjust as we go.
I'm Not Here to Tell You What to Do. I'm Here to Help You Understand Why You Do It.
It's ok not to know...
Jokes are often made about therapists asking clients “how does that make you feel?” Sometimes we just don’t know, but other times we tend to say “I don’t know” to avoid something (feelings, thoughts, conversations etc…). Even though “I don’t know” is an appropriate response at times, and completely acceptable; unlike other therapists, most of the time I will encourage you to guess because guessing will give us some direction. By guessing, we have a starting point, and we can evaluate and see which direction we should go.
Lets Figure it out Together
As therapists, we are not here to tell you what to do. In fact, most therapists will teach you tools, but they will not make suggestions for changes they may think you should make. Given that I receive 1% of the story (or experience) being discussed, I will not tell you what to do either. I will, however, come up with possible ideas for things you can try to help you get started with coming up with your own ideas. It is ultimately up to you to decide what is best for you, but sometimes we just get stuck and need someone to help start us off.
What Sessions Actually Feel Like
Honest. Direct. And a little different from what you might expect.
I am not going to sit quietly and just reflect your words back to you. I ask real questions. I offer real perspectives. If something you say does not quite add up, I will gently let you know - in a way that feels like a conversation with someone who is genuinely rooting for you.
Your first session will probably feel a little like an exhale. We are not diving into the deep end right away. We start by getting to know each other, going over what brought you in, and figuring out what you actually want from this. It is okay if you do not know yet. That is part of what we figure out together.
Testimonial
“Karine asks poignant questions and challenges me
on the things I think which is very helpful for me.”
- Protected
